Brains on Bad Bikes
Take a three inch nail and press it into the top right side of your skull and chances are you’ll nick the ventrolateral frontal cortex, a mass of gray matter that if you didn’t have it - well - I think it’s safe to say you’d function better with all of your brain, so eschew the self-mutilation for now. I’m going to take a risk here. I’m going to risk the raised finger, the silent open mouth and the biting of the tongue, from visinal non-consanguineous relatives, especially those with doctorates in some area of neuroscience, not to name any names - but Ryan. Despite his patience regarding my aeolistic chatterings on subjects I, all things considered, know nothing about, I’m sure to get a familial embrace followed by a dump of corrections to this blog presented with such elegance and patience that I’ll be reminded how much I love this dude. That said - my own ignorance notwithstanding - what is the ventrolateral frontal cortex doing in a blog about bicycles?
Well, it has to do with the part it plays regulating inhibition. According to Aron, Robbins, and Poldrack, who published a paper in 2004, inhibition - in this context the intentional act of abstaining - is a function of the prefrontal cortex exerting executive control. The academic publication is far more interested in the specific location of the specific type of executive function; as stated in the abstract “It is controversial whether different cognitive functions can be mapped to discrete regions of the prefrontal cortex.” The article ends by proposing further research.
Truth be told, from what I understand ‘further research’ is where the majority of neuroscience articles land. With the publication of one groundbreaking scientific discovery regarding the human mind, come further potential avenues to explore. One door opens to a hallway of three doors, each with another three behind it, Zeno's paradox of science; it’s publications all the way down and the deeper we go the less it really means to the folks standing on the rim of the hole being dug by PhD’s and research. Only the scientists who have navigated the hallways of funding, experimentation and publication can lead the commoners to their specific seemingly infinitesimal discovery.
If my frustration on the matter of brain science bleeds through the writing then maybe you can understand the importance of executive functioning. The monkey brain in me, in you, in your neighbor Sharon, wants satiation. We want the information now, and we want it served on a plate of simplicity so that we can take pictures, taste it, chew it, digest it, and then shit it out before the next serving of small portions of palatable tidbits. Instant gratification; or in other words the antithesis of inhibition. Those serving life sentences of grueling research and writing are rewarded internally, or by more funding, or by a pat on the back from their equally intellectually superior cohorts. A combination of the three which - as evident in the fact that these people keep doing the work and new people keep showing up to help - is clearly rewarding.
For those who are wondering how I could possibly relate this to bikes, well, wait no more. There has been a common frustration of mine, one I have been in conflict with for quite some time. Let me, if I may, describe a, not uncommon, scenario from the life of a bike mechanic, as seen generationally since, oh I don’t know, early 2000’s. A tumultuous time of corporate combat. Bankruptcy, bidding wars, billions made, billions lost, as companies desperately tried to pivot their focus. In regards to bike manufacturing, companies went one of two ways, they (1) cut costs to increase sales, or (2) increased quality to increase brand reliability. For those who haven’t noticed yet, I’m simplifying. The aeon in question was chosen due to the proximity of the absorption of one bike company A into the mother company B who, in turn, quickly cut manufacturing costs to increase sales. A smart move fiscally considering prior to 2001 bike company A was a well known, well established brand, an average-Joe might think an 8 speed A-Bike for a hundred bucks was a steal: it wasn’t. And with that in mind - our scenario: Our average-Joe walks into the bike shop with the A-Bike he just bought. It’s in complete shambles having been ridden lightly for less than a week. The bike mechanic now has the horrible responsibility of telling average-Joe the bike he just bought is going to cost more to repair than it was to buy it. Well how is this possible? For one, the bike was mostly assembled in China for ten cents an hour using inferior parts purchased on sale in corporate bulk - a quality no shop would be found dead with, at a price no shop can compete with - and two, they are fully assembled by employees paid per bike - which means fine tuning is not a priority. The system which pumps out these bikes has been designed for quantity, not quality.
There is, arguably, a voice on the internet to argue anything. Late night trips down the digital rabbit hole and I’ve found folks who claim these bikes are worth every penny, but I have never met a die hard Big-Box-Store bike aficionado in person, so I can’t speak to the legitimacy. What I can say is that all - yes all - of the times a Big-Box-Store bike comes into the bike shop it’s never really the happy ending we are all looking for. But I have a solution.
The ventrolateral frontal cortex is quite an impressive chunk of organic mass and in this particular situation it will come in handy, but only if we have the right information. See, the whole purpose of this brain bit, is to abstain in order to achieve future goals. That we might think now, and choose now, the lesser option in order to gain more in the future. The problem here, and that which is not stated in the academic paper, is the prerequisite of information for the decision making process. Those who lack the prodigious depths of knowledge regarding bikes, the average-Joes out there, might not know the difference between one bike, and another. And why would they? The average-Joe has more important things to do, better hobbies, actual interests. Armed with some wherewithal on bicycles, I’ll let you and average-Joe in on a secret. One I was not privy to until recently, and it’s the cost-per-use formula. Take the price of something, and divide it by the number of uses, the lower the number the better the deal. Here’s an example:
Gray A-Bike Hybrid 27.5 all around commuter bike: $399.
Brought into the shop after one month of moderate riding: Pronounced dead.
If we assume it was used daily, ridden all 30 days, that brings the cost per use to $13.9 per ride.
Fuji Sportif 1.3 Commuter bike with accessories: $1,600
Still running after eight years, used five times a week for half the year: Dirty, but still running.
Here’s some math: 130 (days of the year ridden) X 8 (years total) = 1040 (total days ridden)
$1600 (total cost plus accessories) / 1040 (total days ridden) = 1.5 dollars per ride.
But bikes break, what about upkeep costs? Well let’s say the repair costs over eight years is another $1600, $200 per year in repairs. $3200 (total cost plus accessories and total yearly repair cost) / 1040 (total days ridden) = 3 dollars per ride
A whole ten dollars cheaper per ride. This doesn’t take into account several things, safety, ride quality, reliability, efficiency, longevity, the list goes on. It probably goes without saying the bikes I’m comparing here are actual cases, the first being a bike that came in last week, and the second being my own personal commuter.
I know it’s hard, and the upfront cost is a bite to swallow. To be honest you don’t have to spend $1600 to get a quality bike, but you’ll probably spend more than $400. I’m not trying to be critical here; I get it, I am also prone to buying things cheap because, I mean, come on, is it really worth it? In this case, yes. The math is pretty simple, I have a myriad of examples, horror stories of twisted metal, I can present at will. Which means, unlike neuroscience it’s not an endless pit of research and experimentation, just ask the guy who fixes your bike.
At the risk of beating a dead horse the reason I am persevering on this difference - the difference between big box store bikes and those sold at your local bike shop - is because a purchase at Big-Box-Store doesn’t just affect the average-Joe spending the money. For one, it puts your local mechanic in a bind when asked to put time and effort into a bike that’s not worth it. And I don’t mean that in an elitist way, I mean the labor cost, the cost of materials are not worth the finished product. Plain and simple. With that in mind, a lot of these bike owners, these average-Joe types, end up throwing away their purchase in less than a year. Landfills are piled with tangled bike frames that were ridden less than a hundred times.
The only people who profit on a bike like this, are the corporations manufacturing them. The consumer will have a dangerous sub par product, the repair shop will be in an awkward position of politely explaining the quality of the bicycle, and mother nature will inevitably get another ten ton heap of metal dumped on her. Am I telling you what to do? Well, yes, I suppose so. Only because I’m frustrated. Frustrated because I work real hard helping the people who walk into the shop with their bicycles, but I am undercut by corporations making a dime per bike duping people with price tags. But now it’s out there. I’ve put it down in writing and if you are still with me, then you have absorbed just enough knowledge to optimize your ventrolateral frontal cortex. Abstain from immediate gratification, modify response selection to achieve superior future goals.
Postscript: As a final note I want to be clear I’m not vilifying any bikes here. What I am trying to say - and sorry for not being clearer - is that inexpensive bikes tend to be more costly. That’s it. Well that and some inaccurate brain science. But if you have a bike and you want the shop to take a look, regardless of how much you paid for it, don’t be afraid, come on down. Estimates are free and we will work with you to come to a consensus on the best plan of action.
Click here to go to an article, In case you are interested in the ventrolateral frontal cortex…
